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Thread: Roommate caught his friend in action..

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Concord, California, United States
    Posts
    73

    Default

    I disagree with the opinion that our foot fetishis has committed a sexual assault. He was looking at his roommates bare feet for inspiration. Not actually fucking them as the guy slept. Invasion of privacy, yes. Exposing himself - but not publicly - yes. It was a violation of trust. And one that warrants confrontation. And, perhaps, a change of roommate arrangements.

    But this situation should not be construed as sexual assault. Might ongoing visits to a sleeping roommates bedroom lead to worse behavior? Not necessarily. I agree that our foot fetishist needs to get out more. Or, hopefully, find sites like this one. Which do help some of us get by between such intimate encounters.

  2. #12

    Default

    I totally agree with the comments above of Solesearcher1. The reactions to the original post have surprised me and perhaps this kind of conversation is overdue. We all need to think about boundaries, limits, personal space, personal rights, and the rules of the game in courtship rituals, cruising, and other types of encounters.

    It does seem to me that adolescent boys go through periods of experimentation in which they touch themselves and may touch other boys, sometimes inappropriately, as they try to learn what their body changes mean and what they should do about it. Many boys learn to masturbate, at first alone, sometimes with a jack-off buddy, and they learn techniques and limits. If a friend of the same age touches and they want to play, they can go ahead with the game. If they are not ready or don't want to do anything, they can push the hand away. It's important to learn that no means no.

    Somethiing of the same continues into adulthood. I remember years ago in a movie theater a guy pushed his knee against mine. I had two options. I could leave it there and that would be a signal he was being encouraged to go further. Or I could withdraw my knee, and perhaps give the guy a dirty look. Back then that was how we learned that no means no.

    In a gay bar, way back then guys danced together and hands traveled. You could put your hand somewhere on a guy's arm or leg, at the barstool or while dancing, and it was important to learn how to interpret the signals. I have to say honestly that if someone ever made a pass at me or hit on me or touched me anywhere, approprately or inappropriately, I never felt offended or that I was the victim of a sexual assault. Sometimes people didn't give up easily and needed a firmer rebuff, but that was something we used to learn how to do without overreacting.

    Michael Lucas's article "Rape Behind Bars" is a whole different matter. I hope you can find the article at advocate.com because it reflects a failure in our justice system that needs to be corrected.

    As to the guy in the original post and the foot fetishist who assaulted him - apparently without actually touching him - I would have acted differently. Let's call the two guys FF (that would be the foot fetishist) and OP (that would be the offended princess.) If I were the OP, when I woke up and saw what was going on, I would simply have told the FF to finish his peter pull in the bathroom and go back to sleep. No means no. That should have been enough. The OP thus would have taught the FF his llimits and his boundaries.

    The fact that he chose to make a high drama out of a non-physical jack off scene makes me wonder if he might be enjoying the scene in a rather sadistic way. As the Bard said, "'Methinks the lady doth protest too much."'

    Different cultures and different generations have different ways of dealing with growing up and learning limits. We must be careful not to exaggerate. I remember listening to a lady from Iran telling about two boys, 17 and 18, who had been caught playing with each other. They were taken out of the village, buried up to their chests in the ground, and then stoned. But it wasn't a fast death for them. It took about two hours while the pious villagers threw stones at them. For touching themselves and each other. Well, they won't be doing that again!

    We have to be careful not to become like the Taliban ourselves. And we do need to study what it really means to be a sexual human being - a responsible sexual human being. But if you are going to send a guy to prison for 15 years just for looking at you crosseyed while he whacks off, maybe you should look for another planet.

  3. #13

    Default

    Stop with all the logical fallacies. This situation has nothing to do with prison rape. I am glad you decided what constitutes "real" rape though. You should become a court expert. What this guy did was wrong. Condone it all you want just stop dressing it up and STOP blaming the victim. At the end of the day, jerking off to someone who is sleeping even if you aren't touching them is sexual assault. If the genders were switched: a male and female roommate and the female woke up one night to the male jerking off at the foot of her bed, can you honestly say you would say she's overacting because she probably likes it or she just needs to tell him to go the bathroom and finish there and get over it? Says *a lot* about your character if the answer is yes.
    Last edited by dc777; 06-23-2013 at 03:57 PM.

  4. #14

    Exclamation Lets switch the scenario

    You wake up to your female roommate fingering herself while staring at you?

    (roommate that you thought was a lesbo)

    How would yall feel about this? She is a good friend.

    You confront her and she tells you as of late she been doing this to most of her male roommates during their sleep.

  5. #15

    Default

    Hey Fructis! I loved your dialog of the guy calling the police and reporting that his roommate was smelling the cheese! So I tried it.

    Well, it's like this. The handsome police dude arrived and he was so cute! He and my roommate hit it off right away and would you believe it, the police guy has a thing for feet too!
    The two went off to my roommate's room and I can hear them laughing and giggling and carrying on while they do things to each other's feet! I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.

    Next time I wake up and a guy is whacking off while staring at my feet, I think I'll just give him a hand. And maybe a foot, too!

  6. #16

    Thumbs up Lets cut the cheese and share it

    I have no doubt ftlaudft , if someone calls 911 for something this trivial the operator will have a laugh and the call will probably end up online then on Chelsea Lately!

    This ordeal had me thinking about the opposite reaction.

    Most of us have smelled these sleeping feet before. Mostly from str8 guys sleeping way too deeply into the arms of sister morpheus.

    But what is to say about those str8 guys who probably woke up to one of our smelling sessions yet still pretended to be sleeping letting you indulge and acting like nothing the other day.

    Because I bet if someone can wake up and act crazy about it, I am pretty sure some probably ended up enjoying the attention given but remained silent about it.

    BTW. Thanks for the info about Milan Gamiani! I feel extremely sad about what happened to him. Horrendous situation. Something that would suck the life out of anybody living the same thing. I can only imagine the despair of the poor guy not being able to find any help. Only to be ridiculed and made fun of. Sad!
    Last edited by fructis; 06-24-2013 at 02:49 AM.

  7. #17

    Default

    Good points, Fructis! I think happiness is a matter of cheese, holes, and things that dangle! And aren't we lucky to live in a country where we're free to talk about it, compare notes and experience and even go out and sniff and whiff discreetly!

    Because iwhile we're happily celebrating Gay Pride with parades and events that recall Stonewall Riots, in some places things are changing for the worse. In Russia the legislators are working on a law that makes it a crime to talk positively about homosexuality in public. A teacher in a classroom who says anything positive about gay life can go to jail for it. The law there is already in effect in some regions. Spooky!

    Do we have to go to Russia to find this kind of homophobia in action? No! Right here we have a threat to our rights and that threat has a name: Antonin Scalia. Just last Friday he spoke to a group of lawyers and told them that the Constitution does not guarantee homosexuals the right to homosexual conduct. Can you imagine what would happen if he and the crazies on Fox News and the Tea Party actually had the right to shut us down here? They're doing it in Russia, they're hanging gays from the lamppost in some Middle East countries, they are actively persecuting gays in Uganda - and we have people right here who would do it if they could.

    This site of FootBuddies is such a wonderful place for us to air out our ideas, as varied and diverse as they may be. And we are free to say anything so long as we are courteous and respect the rights of others to think whatever they choose. We can talk about themes close to our heart such as smelling the cheese. And we're free to debate the moral and legal consequences of what happens if the cheese wakes up.

    It's good to pause a moment and appreciate what we have going for us right here. And if we're really grateful, maybe we can try to be a little nicer to each other and when we hear something we don't agree with, maybe we can try to cut some slack, turn the page and go on.
    Last edited by ftlaudft; 06-24-2013 at 07:38 AM.

  8. #18

    Default Seriously?

    Quote Originally Posted by ftlaudft View Post
    ...Can you imagine what would happen if he and the crazies on Fox News and the Tea Party actually had the right to shut us down here?...
    Hey, Laudie and every other anti-conservative out there.

    I am one of those Tea Party "crazies" you always try to knock down. Please be aware that we have much more important matters to attend besides worrying where a small minority of people are putting their genitals.

    Things like a seventeen trillion dollar deficit, a flat economy, the government spying on your every move, a "health care plan" that will bankrupt the country and destroy the health care system, the IRS discriminating against people because of their beliefs and ideals, waste and fraud at every level of federal government, the murder of four Americans at Benghazi and why no one was sent to help them, securing the borders so another Boston Marathon bombing won't take place....

    The list goes on and on. Homo passions really just don't matter, when the world is coming unglued all around us.

    [turning the page and moving on]
    Last edited by BootsMcGraw; 06-25-2013 at 11:27 PM. Reason: added addendum
    S. ''Boots'' McGraw
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  9. #19

    Default

    For many of us, homo passions matter.

  10. #20

    Unhappy I also dont agree

    Giving up your passion in the name of so and so is like giving up your life and your rights.

    When money becomes more important than anything else in a world that could very well live with out it then we have a problem.

    Dont let go of your passion. Passion is what makes us human.

    The world is going down the drain because the world refuses to see the big problem with our system. Its clearly not working. It was cute at first. But its not anymore. When only a few can profit from it but the vast majority are left starving , something is not right.

    Anyways. Keep the passion alive yall ; )

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