Having To Compromise & Tired of It

[seansea]

I just wonder if any of you have to go through this. Finding a guy with a foot fetish for regular consistent play is like mining for gold. I usually end up with guys who don't mind it or tolerate it but I have to compromise and do things I am not crazy to do. I'm gay, but I don't like being a top, and definitely not a bottom, and guys get mad because I can't keep hard, focus or cum that much unless my dick is on their feet.

Recently I've been doing more pleasing them than the other way around. I'm getting frustrated and it's not fair. I'm even debating "buying" a pair of feet just so I can finally do what I want with them. I can't help it if just the feet alone is becoming my turn on. Any thoughts?

[rainboww]

I can relate, I don't like topping or bottoming either and feet are my main interest.
Luckily I like kissing and hugging almost as much as I like feet, and I don't mind sucking dicks that much. Pretty much all of the guys I've slept with have been totally fine with me spending as much time as I want with their feet though.

[ftslave67]

I would try to focus on trying to meet someone for a relationship--someone you can relate to in more than just a sexual hook-up sort of way.

[Footlover4Ever_J]

seansea, I can relate to what you're going through.

I have had my fill of trying to meet like minds, only coming up short, lucky to find someone that's willing to do it, only to do something I don't like doing, paying for it or to just flat out not getting it at all.

Compromise can be a pain in the butt, sometimes you have to be careful not to meet the wrong one. You don't want to compromise so much so, that you still don't get what you want.

[seansea]

True, maybe looking for a relationship may be the thing to do, but it's gonna be tough finding someone who can deal with me always wanting to play with their feet who doesn't have the same fetish. I wish I could be into other things, but I guess I'm just hard wired for feet

[flickfire]

I know what you mean. It can be hard just finding guys that are just into feet. Maybe you should be a lot more specific about what you what from them. You shouldn't have to perform oral and anal sex(which can be risky) if you don't want to. A lot of guys are just selfish and want what they want, and don't think enough about the sexual gratification of the other person involved.

A lot of men need to realize that there's more to their bodies that just their dicks.

Good luck to you.

[tenchichan]

I agree with everyone on here-- a relationship is the way to go.

My boyfriend does not share my foot fetish, but he loves me and he wants to get me off so he's MORE than willing to do these things for me. In fact, HE often suggests it. The first time he gave me a footjob (which was literally the first time I'd ever had a real one) I shot super hard and super far and it turned HIM on immensely. He practically begs to give me footjobs now.

Even weirder--- before we started dating I had a pretty lifelong obsession with feet, but I wasn't where you are at right now. But since I've been with him? I'm starting to get to that point. Now that I'm able to fully enjoy my fetish, I'm starting to find it's the only thing that I really want.

The BF and I also have an open relationship, so now that I have an awesome guy who will do foot things for me, I simply don't go back. If I hook up with a guy, he's having his feet played with-- and seriously, I've never met a guy who didn't like it. 9 times out of 10 they absolutely LOVE it and didn't realize they did until they got with someone who actually wanted to do stuff to their feet.

You're gonna be fine. Like I said, if you're in a relationship with someone who loves you and wants to get you off, they're going to give you all access to their feet, without a doubt.


BUT-- you haven to understand that you can't just receive all the time. If you're in a relationship you're going to HAVE to do things other than foot stuff to make sure your partner is taken care of. You'd be hard pressed to find a guy who is completely satisfied only getting YOU off. And chances are, you're not going to find a guy who is satisfied by ONLY having his feet played with. Even if you found another foot guy and that was the cornerstone of your sex life, I'm betting he'd still want a little more. Even among the foot community there is a wide variety of sexual interests and no two guys are going to get off the exact same way every single time.

I'm not saying you'll always have to compromise, but if you're taking compromise off the table right away then you'll basically HAVE to pay someone. So what would you rather pay someone with-- money or love/intimacy/affection? That's up to you I guess.

[seansea]

Thanks to everyone who responded I think I am going to have to seriously start thinking on dating and hopefully getting a long tern relationship. I think that way I wouldn't mind compromising because I'd be in love and want to do for my man. It probably wouldn't even be a compromise anymore. We'll see how it goes! Thanks again all!

[gbmcleod]

Something my mother told me when I was very young was, "If you want to give someone something, you do it because YOU want to. If you expect something back, THAT'S NOT GIVING and you should keep whatever you intended to give them, because going after someone with any intention other than Love is going about it all wrong."

Same with "getting" into an "LTR" (which I think should be renamed "Loving Tender Relationship" to remind people that it's about being loving, not about "getting" someone so you don't have to be alone).

I found that when I was sweet and affectionate and warm, it drew guys to me and when they were also sweet and affectionate, getting to play with their feet was easy. It was when they wanted my "warmth" but didn't have much of their own to give back to me that the problems developed.
My point is: Don't MAKE nice to get something. DEVELOP kindness and you'll find you'll attract the kind of guys who are generous, emotionally speaking, and care about what makes you happy. THAT kind of guy may not understand your foot thing, but he'll be a hell of a lot more likely to want to drive you crazy with his feet than some selfish guy who only got into it because he wanted something from you. The selfish ones are only in it for themselves (ask ANY woman: they know better than anyone) and they'll go along with what you want - but not because they're inherently good. They just see "going along with you" as a means to an end. And I'm sorry, but that kind of human being didn't grow up in a happy environment. I can almost guarantee that if you start with being a truly loving person, you will find guys who want to please you -- and that means playing with their feet!

[Franz]

gbmcleod: This commentary and advice from you is the best in this string. I could not agree more with everything you said and advised. Indeed, once a man knows you love him and want to give to him--and assuming he loves you, too, in my own personal experience I always found that the man will eagerly, gladly, and without thought give himself and his feet to you whenever and however you want him.

Franz