I never thought asking questions was silly...
and you're on a foot website. This is the last place ANYone would be "laughing with these silly questions" (which aren't silly at all).
It sounds like you have a considerable amount of anixety, and that's never easy to deal with - or to rationalize away (e.g, "I should be 'strong' about this" is the usual thing people tell themselves). It's something you've thought since you were very young, and it takes people a long time to deal with anxiety. Start while you're young: by the time you reach 30, you will be more comfortable with yourself.
Proabably the easiest thing, since your anxiety is so significant is, when you get to the sex stage, touch his entire body, legs and feet included, so it doesn't seem as though you're focused just on his feet. If he reacts, just casually say, "Are you ticklish? I didn't mean to make you jump when I was touching your legs and feet?" (This way, you don't just say 'feet' and trigger your own anxiety.) If he says yes, well, then, there a many guys who just don't like the ticklish feeling (they feel 'out of control,' a feeling very few people like initially). In this case, you'll know, without exposing yourself, that you will have to adjust to the fact that he is going to react if you go near his feet.
On the other hand, he may like it. Most guys like having a foot massage, so you could say, 'it's my first time doing this. Could we start out by doing some simple touching things, like me massaging your feet, a back rub, stuff like that? (Being a virgin can actually be pretty endearing - even these days when it seems most people are sexually experienced by age 14.) See what he says.
Also, unless you've already seen his feet, you may not even want to touch them. Have you seen them? Do you know that his feet turn you on or is it just that you want to touch SOMEone's feet just to 'get started' with the fetish. I don't think of liking feet as a 'fetish,' except that it's something different. American men have what could be called a 'breast fetish,' gay men, a dick fetish, etc. It's just called a focused attraction to me. I've had a big chest since I was 14 - and that was before I ever worked out. Even girls used to say to me, if you get any bigger, we're gonna have to buy you a bra [my dad had a fantastic physique, and he never worked out a day in his life. I got his genes, and even at 62, if i wanted to, I could do the whole '6 pack ab thing' but been there, done that, until I was around 50, and that's when the rest of the world started doing it.] And back in the 70s, my chest attracted tons of attention in San Francisco, so I DO have a perspective that others may not have.
Anyway, what's called a 'fetish' is no more than something more common in the American psyche, which things it's 'discovering' new sexual things, than the rest of the world, which is actually more worldly than Americans are (we just think we're 'it') about these things (they've been doing them for centuries). So, I have a perspective on the foot thing as being very similar to the 'chest thing,' the 'dick thing,' the 'breast thing' etc.
Back to you - and this IS about you. It's clear that it's embarrassing to you to like something you think of as 'forbidden.' Try to see it as 'cool', like being a Goth, a nerd or anything "different." It's your mind that's scaring you, not the actual reality itself, and the mind is the hardest thing to overcome (we've, most of us - not "ALL" as people continually - and mistakenly, like to say - had years of some kind of 'conditioning' that prevents us from being comfortable with who we are, and many of us suffer agony for it. And then we wonder why we don't have a relationship. WEll, you have to 'do the work' to get past some fears in life. And if you don't, it gets harder as you get older) If you're in a rural area, it's even harder to feel like there are others who share your particular desires ('fetish' if that makes you feel better). What part of the country do you live in? Any large cities near you? You'll usually find that in large cities, people are more sophisticated about sex. So, again, where are you?
Last edited by gbmcleod; 01-26-2013 at 07:01 AM.
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Originally Posted by ftslave67
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