When it's hopeless...

[gbmcleod]

If you can't do it here, then where the hell CAN you do it?

After having read your explanation, I understand. It sounded to me, from your original post, that you might be living in some homophobic small town, which is why I asked where you lived.
It's completely understandable that it's hard -- if not impossible -- for you to meet guys, never mind a guy who understands (and encourages) your passion for feet. Even in big cities, there would be guys who, when you tell them that a goodlooking foot turns you on, would object to it. It seems that, only since flip-flops became popular (even Tevas didn't completely open guys up to being aware of feet, although it sure started the revolution!), have guys become aware of what their feet look like and that feet can be pretty attractive. And since younger guys have become pretty used to being in flips, and therefore, exposing the feet to the human eye, I'd suspect that they wouldn't find it odd that somebody notices their feet, since they're there for anyone, and EVERYone, to see. This is, as Martha Stewart used to say, a good thing.

I know it must be tough to be in a small town, with no gay bars, and have a passion (or fetish, as we call it, although I find it interesting to note that nobody thinks of a straight guy who likes big-breasted women as having a "fetish"), for sexy feet. Any passion that's off the, pardon the pun, straight and narrow, is considered a "fetish." You can include, spanking, tying someone up, putting whipped cream on someone as a fetish. Even being turned on to someone's muscles is a fetish, although one that is accepted more readily (since so many people act as though muscles only appeared after 1995, when plenty of us older guys had muscles in 1965, only it was less common then, but still, it was a turn-on for the less muscular, as I like to put it). These day, it's almost sine qua non that a guy has to muscular to be hot (which is a load of bull***). See the thread on here on 'nerds' to put that idea in its grave.

Be that as it may, I hope you don't take the comments about your noticing a straight guy who comes in with his girlfriend to mean that we think you're ONLY interested in straight guys (and these, days, I find myself wondering sometimes, what is 'straight', given how many straight guys our own Peter London seems to meet, and who don't mind a bit having their feet smelled, sucked, stuck in places the sun don't shine). It's only natural to assume that a guy with a girlfriend is straight. In any case, if that's all you're coming into contact with, and they have great feet, what the hell! The entire picture thread on models and famous guys is filled with photos of 'straight guys' (presumably) and there are so many guys on here lusting after David Beckham or any well-known (again, presumably) straight guys that it's not abnormal that you WOULDN'T think the guy's straight if he's with a woman.

That being-gay-in-a-small-town thing can be trying, as it seems to be in your case. I used to live in San Francisco, and - at least for now - I'm in a suburb of New Haven, CT. Fortunately, New Haven DOES have a gay bar, and I'm pretty open about admiring a guy's feet if he's in a gay bar, regardless of how he registers or responds to that. I hope your situation changes, or at least improves. Good luck.

[SnowFanatic]

Thanks for that, gbmcleod. I don't know if it's homophobic, but it's small and conservative.

When I opened the thread, I wasn't exactly thinking about what kind of an idea people might get from my post, so I certainly didn't want to come off as unprofessional etc. cause I'm not. You just can't help but notice sometimes.

It's basically what ropedfeet already said, and partly connected to Serph's question; it happens to everyone. From my own experience, and I assume it's the same for many others: I don't get to choose who I'm attracted to. I'm attracted to someone or I'm not, regardless of whether that person is straight, gay, whatever.

Oh, and agreed with Boots.

[drummer]

being gay can be so hopeless sometimes...

Well, yes, sooner or later, any male who prefers other males has to come to terms with the notion that most males around him are unable to respond and return some of the romantic and sexual feelings.

However, as long as you are reconciled to the notion that perhaps the relationship won't be exactly what you want, it is certainly possible for males who prefer females to feel something for you.

Indeed, I've found that, if anything, many so-called "straight" men are absolutely starved for male affection, so strictly has male-male affection been banished from their world for fear of being "gay." Many "straight" men yearn to be touched, affectionately, by other men, even though they may find it embarrassing or difficult to admit this to themselves. They don't necessarily want a smoochy kiss or a sexual caress, but they do want a hug, or an arm slung over their shoulders, or a back-rub, and a few enlightened ones might even enjoy having their feet massaged and handled by a "buddy."

Such men are never going to be your lovers, but that doesn't mean that you cannot enjoy a very deep friendship with them, providing you keep in mind that you have to keep some hold on the reins and recognize that they aren't equipped with the capacity to "love" you back, any more than you are equipped with the capacity to wish to share your life with, and father children with, a woman.

And to be perfectly honest, it isn't the thrill of sex that is the foundation of the longest friendships. It's something else.

[peterlondon]

i have had a lot of horny encounters with straight guys, but when i say straight...there dicks got hard...so you cant just divide us into two tribes, straight and gay. i live in london now, a lot of gay guys here are very mascuilne, at the same time there are trannies , cute camp boys, big beer belly bears..and each has their own admirers, to say you arent attracted to swishy queens is just stating your taste, there are plenty who are.
when i was growing up in manchester the gay scene was very underground and anyone who was straight acting might have been scared off by it, in the handful of dark bars we had many of the chaps used queeny language and mannerisms. it was a kind of relief after being buttoned up and in the closet all day,it was a sort of camaraderie.
now in big cities people are Out at work, Out to their familes etc you get many more guys going to the bars who dont adopt this manner...but its different when you get to small towns. maybe because the boys who are more camp are the ones who have the courage to come out, because staying in the closet is not an option for them.
but the best sex encounter i ever had was with a gay guy, not a bisexual or straightish guy, a gay guy ( master milano i hope you are reading this!)

[flickfire]

First of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with gay men who are "swishy and "faggy"
as was said here. There are many people (both gay and straight) who are attracted to the
softness, femininity, and downright sweetness that a lot of stereotypically gay men have,
and personally I'd rather have a swishy, feminine gay men who is a kind, caring person than
a ripped "str8 acting" gay guy who is a total jerk (and we've all met them at one time or
another in our lives)!

I think there is a lot of truth to what Drummer said about a lot of str8 guys being starved
for male affection. It's quite sad really. I think that's probably why men like physical sports
like football and soccer so much, because they can touch each other, and feel each other up
in a way they they could never do in regular society without being called gay, which unfortunately
is still considered to be a bad word in many circles.

Sometimes, I am very envious of the relationships that women have with each other.
They can be very affectionate with each other without automatically being labeled as
being gay. I think a lot of men wish that they could share the same freedoms that they
do.

[somecanuck]

Yeah. I've found myself attracted to both effeminate men AND masculine men or whatever in between... as long as they are indeed men. I have had the biggest crush on a straight friend of mine for years (who happens to be ftm trans, but is definitely very masculine). In the past, I also had a thing for another straight guy I knew who made things worse by being very flirty. Fantasies aside, these guys aren't interested, so it's pointless to think anything could happen other than friendship.

Foot worship is another thing though. I have worshipped straight mens' feet. I don't usually bring it up with my friends, even though they all know about my fetish. I just don't wanna make them uncomfortable. But, some have been comfortable with it. Don't ask me why.

But anyway, I have actually learned to appreciate gender differences in people. I have met lots of masculine gay men. I have been told I am one, but I don't believe that is entirely true. I can set off a gaydar or 2.