Cat-in-Hat's marvelous School for Slurpers...

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Are you tired of being a run-of-the-mill toesucker? Do you aspire to be something more grand, more elegant, than a plain, ordinary foot fetishist? Well, do I have some good news for you! Cat-in-Hat, the fellow who started the Footsie Renaissance over at MyFriendsFeet, has a series of video clips that will give you all the lessons you need. Put them together and you can use them as your own personal OnLine University of Shrimping.

Cat is probably more famous for being a Master SlurpER than a SlurpÉE. His talents as a SlurpER have been chronicled extensively and my own personal favorites are his video clips with the porn star Leo Giamani and that handsome but abusive model Lane. His between-the-toes techniques are dazzling and his exaltation of the joy of toejam is positively liberating.

As a SlurpÉE Cat gives us a valuable lesson in how to manage a reluctant toesucker who is just learning the ropes. In the clips posted over at MyFriendsFeet, Cat develops this scenario. He has just caught a prowler, the beautiful model Scott, in his garage and Cat threatens to call the police unless Scott submits to Cat's desires. Cat sits, Scott submits, and the lesson begins. Cat has lovely feet and many of you will wish you had been there to audition for Scott's part. Scott is a fast learner and quickly becomes a Master SlurpER.

So what materials will you need as an apprentice slurper? You will need very little: only your own two feet, a garage and a prowler.

A question? Where will you find a garage and a prowler? Well, how the hell should I know! Do I have to think of everything?

And stop playing with yourself when I'm talking to you!

No, the class is not over until Cat says it's over!

Honestly! These kids today!

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I'm surprised that my post, inspired by CatinHat's latest video clip, has had so many viewers in so short a time. It just proves the hunger and thirst of so many of us footbuddies who yearn for personal training in shrimping, sodomy and other manly activities. I am therefore considering opening an on-line school which I may call the Ft Lauderdale Slurp! Slurp! and a Burp! Academy of Shrimping and Sodomy. It will consist of Master Classes in the following fields:

1. Shrimping You cannot know true love without it.

2. Sodomy When one thing leads to another....

3. Fellatio When two big toes aren't enough...

4. Merengue It always makes you feel better.

5. García Lorca A close reading of his poetry. Well, you've got to talk about something in the morning and you don't want him to think you're a dullard.

6. How to serve Danish pastry and coffee in bed.

The format of a Master Class will revolve around a list of videos from pay sites which the student will watch at home. This will be followed by on-line questions and answers. A graduating student will receive a Slurp! Slurp! and a Burp! Certificate and a free graduation dinner at Taco Bell's.

Yes, guys, I understand that you will have to be a member of some of the pay sites in order to complete academy requirements. But remember this! You cannot buy happiness! But you can rent it! If you belong to ToeGasms, for a modest fee you can have Bryce and Nolin in your Dream Closet. You won't own them, of course. But you can play with them to your heart's and hormones' content in those midnight fantasies that make it all worthwhile
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The requirements for the shrimping Master Class, our first offering, will be the viewing and analysis of MyFriendsFeet video clips, including those just released of Scott Forced to Worship, and also the videos of Giamani, Lane and Josh. And don't forget. There are no fees to attend a Master Class. The tuition is absolutely free. Of course, a pair of old sox is always nice.

Education is so illuminating! But we want to keep it real. Let your thoughts rise to the heavens! But let your lips and tongues remember that the best stuff is right beneath the anklebone!